Thursday, November 26, 2009

yeay i updated my blog songs. just added afew and shuffled the rest... anyways, im bored now so i guess i'll do a little update here. i doubt it'll last me 15 minutes though. hahah! holidays are a bore. i know everyone says that. but it is! i must sound like some idiot who does not have a life...

i wanna talk about dance. i realize i've been quite a shitty crew mate. haha i know you guys feel that way and i do feel guilty. sometimes i tend to get really lazy and i wont put in my all. sometimes i say things but i dont really do them. sometimes i come late for practice just because i know that i wont be the only one late. sometimes i text during practice. i know you guys might get frustrated with me for so many more reasons. but i am slowly realizing them and i am willing to do something about it. i've been stagnant for way too long now. i really want to level up. i feel so screwed. i do know that improvement has to come in a form of a crew and not just individual. so i will do my part to try to make things better for everyone.

haha so there, it's out. what i feel.

meanwhile, the weather is being a fucktard. but it's not as if i can do anything about it. i just wanna rant and vent.

sulaiman's first day at cotton on was yesterday and it seemed like he had alot of fun. i cant wait to start! i want to meet new and fun people. i want a change of environment. i wanna have a different kind of fun. i'm already starting to feel mundane. so i want a change! i love change.

sometimes, i cant stand how people are so against change. they are just so comfortable with the way everything is. they do not dare to step out and try something different for a change just for the fear of losing everything they had. but sometimes you need to rid of the old before you look for the new. or else your whole life would be made out of one huge bulk of clutter from your past.

which is why i am kinda against the idea of returning gifts to people who you deliberately break your relation with (not necessarily a love relation). because memories and feelings do not exist in material things. these are just objects. memories don't live in them. they live in your brain. if the whole world continue in this cycle, the next thing you know, people would kill themselves just because he/she lost the toenail of a person they love.

anyways, my dad told me that the O level results are out today. i didnt even know. anyone who knows what's going on, please tell me! sometimes i just think that he says things just to act like he knows alot. but when you retaliate, he gets angry. that's the problem with parents. they ALWAYS think that they're right. no matter the case. even though they know that they said something wrong or made a little mistake, they would never own up to it. because they feel like they have this obligation to be the one who is always right. and be a role model. so that your child would always be right. they have totally forgotten that we are humans. and humans make mistakes. they made mistakes but do not own up to it, which makes them superhumans?

so as a child i have learnt the art of giving in but not giving in... yknow, when they say something and you know they'd never give in to your perspective, you just give in to them but still keep your own perspective in mind. because i believe as humans, we are all entitled to our own beliefs. i'm not just gunna let some other human change that just because i was made from him/her. screw that.

and i know that i might contradict myself by saying that i will keep my perspective. because i also showed my discontent with them showing their firm perspectives. but i do know for myself that i am open and i am able to adapt to others opinions. i have never thought for once in my life that everyone had the exact same perspective on one thing. and with that in mind, i know that sometimes i have to be able to open my thinking to fit the rest's.

ok anyways, this post turned out longer that i thought it would. i know that i might not make sense to anyone. but at least it killed my time. and at least i got it out here onto my blog. so that i can always come back and read what i wrote. and reinforce my thinking.

bry farted at 12:11 PM

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

last night julian stayed over. AGAIN. this boy just doenst wanna go home! tsk. hahah! watched tv while using the laptop, hung the laundry (he's the maid after all) and sang arctic monkeys till we fell asleep. haha!

oh yah and sorry to aunty roseanne! about last night, i got disconnected. and couldnt get back online. haha this is the third time i'm apologizing. just feel so bad )=

k xueyi and friends are coming over in a while to bake. haha. that's all for now. how pathetic.

bry farted at 3:02 PM

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

we didnt get through into the finals. but oh well, i guess it's reasonable. i wanna say that i didnt anticipate it, but i did. so yeah...

i had fun yesterday though... still can't believe we took neoprints! and we got to hang out with roseanne before she goes off to thailand. come back quick and fill my inbox! tell me how it felt to eat insects and hug a tranny. tell me everything! HAHAH! for now, there's no real reason to hold on to my phone...

i'll make a longer post soon. i'll go catch up on some rest for now...

bry farted at 10:23 AM

Monday, November 23, 2009

ok i'm going to update my blog nowwww. but i don't wanna pass off as some wanna-be famous blogger person thing. haha i know that not much people read my blog. but this is 'mai bershion' of therapy.

so anyways, i've been really exhausted the past few days. going place to place, having practices, going home late from practices and having to face the same old shit from people i see at home. and now that dance explosion is over, i can get to recharge!

and about dance explosion. i don't really wanna talk about it, but i think it'd make me feel better. i feel like i have not been putting my utmost best during practices. and i made use of my muscle aches to excuse and cheat myself but now when i think about it, i bet everyone else were having muscle aches too. my mind was convinced that that was my physical limit... but was it really? guess i should have pushed harder. lesson learnt. but lets focus on the positive now. we managed to adapt to all the mistakes that happened. and i think that's what being a dancer is about. being quick witted and knowing how to cover up. being a chameleon.

but all we can do now is wait and hope that we get through into the next round. but even if we don't i'm still happy about the lessons learnt.

oh and by the way, i got a job as cotton on christmas part timer! the 'interview' was fun as hell! we played games and they picked out their employees from there! i went for the interview with xueyi, faris and naqiyah and we all got the job! and kak thasha got the job too! i'll be at parkway starting december!

ok well that's all i feel like blogging about. oh and i bleached my hair blonde =D oh and i'm going to take neoprints with aunty roseanne today! i know its NEOPRINTS! WTH BUT IT WILL BE FUN!

bry farted at 7:29 AM

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

last night was our school's graduation night. it was not as bad as i thought it would be. but that doesnt mean it wasnt bad... the food was very average. nothing special about the food. and the program was boring. they just showed video after video and have form teachers give a speech. and yes i know that they do this at every graduation ceremony. but being that this time it's different (while eating), they should have done it some other time. oh and i performed too but the audience were bored. haha! i went back to my table, they said that i didnt look like i went to perform, it just looked like i went to the toilet for a long time.

the only thing fun about the night was taking photos with friends. me and nginan also went around taking photos with random people. i even took a photo with this geeky guy that i've never seen before just because one of his sleeve had feather designs. i told him to face the sleeve towards the camera. nginan was laughing while taking the photo! haha!

but despite the glitches and the boredom... i would still remember that night.

it seemed as if it was just yesterday that i was queuing up in my new sec 1 class. excited to finally graduate from primary school and move on to secondary. being totally lost, queuing up in the wrong class. looking around to see if there was anyone i knew. and during my first ever recess in secondary school, i played a game with my friend and my brother to walk aimlessly and see who gets lost first. 3 minutes later, we bumped into each other and realized that the school was freaking small.

and then in sec 3, on the first day of school, we all looked at each other... to see if the other person looks good in long pants. girls being the best judges... rolling up our pants because it was too stuffy and then got used to it on the 3rd day. something that julian, nazri and louis will experience really soon.. cant wait to see them in long pants.

and then in sec 4, i started dancing. performing in school. doing skits, dancing, emceeing. there's been so many memories backstage. meeting new people, making new friends, trying new things. feeling nervous backstage.

there are so many more memories but it's starting to sound cheesy so yeah what i'm trying to say is, if it wasnt for secondary school, i'd be a total different person. i cant even imagine what i'd be like.

so guys, treasure your time in secondary school, try not to hate is as much as i did because in the end, it's all just fun and laughter that you'll remember. these moments will never be re-lived, ever again...

bry farted at 10:44 AM

Monday, November 16, 2009

i realize that i'm still blogging like a sec one. ah fuck.

today's grad night. i hope that most people would turn up... i dont think they should boycott the whole thing because the prom is being held in the school hall. but the fact is that it's not a prom, its just a graduation ceremony with catering provided in the evening... plus, many other schools have their 'proms' in their school halls too, its just that this is the first time our school is doing it... it's the last time we'd hang out as class/schoolmates. and it's free. oh well but it starts in a few hours so i dont think that typing any of these would change anyone's decision...

played habbo hotel for my very first time with habbo veteran, julian, last night till early this morning. hahha it really changed my perspective of people on the internet. julian should know why, he saw everything.

oh oh oh and dance explosion is coming up soon... not much time left. i'll make a proper post for that soon. make yourselves free on the 22nd!

i sent an application to cotton on. hopefully i get a call.

p.s. julie and rosie, i've uploaded the photos to FB. =D

bry farted at 10:57 AM

Sunday, November 15, 2009

first i want to say that i hate people who act like they're gangsters... i came up with this theory with julian while having our 12am dinner (chocolate sundae) at macs... that these kind of people are nothing. on the human body, they're not even the little finger, not even the fingernail of the little finger! not even the dirt under that little finger's fingernail! they're the tiny particles of germs that float around the dirt under that little finger's fingernail, waiting to be turned into dirt.

today was a freaking fun day anyways... i can say that i enjoyed myself with julian and roseanne. found my clothes for graduation night! i actually skipped practice to go look for clothes, after finding my clothes, decided to head over to practice but they said that they left. so we hung out and took photos. hahaha i think that that was the MOST brief way of describing my day. it cant get any more brief than this... it deserves to be 2 pages long! but it's 1.47am now leh...

bry farted at 1:38 AM